Day 81: Celebrate Nature

 Day 81: Celebrate Nature

Lure a fly onto this page and swat it here.

I was not so lucky this time.  I couldn't get anything onto the page and I have no luck ever killing flies... that's what my kitty does.  Anyway, I hope this book starts to give me more realitic things to do soon or this blog is going to become a bore.  Not that anyone is reading it anyway...

Day 80: Today start to eat a piece of furniture

 Day 80: Today start to eat a piece of furniture

You will need: A piece of wooden furniture (wardrobe, bookshelf, table, chair), a nail file.  Shave off a small amount of wood from your piece of furniture.  Sprinkle it on your lunch.  Enjoy!  Preserve every day and you should be able to eat the entire piece of furntiure within 20 years.

This is stupid.... NEXT... 

Day 79: Become and expert on Today

Day 79: Become and expert on Today

Read all the newspapers from A to Z and watch all the news bulletins so that by midnight tonight no one in the world knows more about the events of Day 79 than you.  Here is a quick test to check your knowledge before you use it to attain unheard of riches and power:

Weather in Zambia today: Low of 62 in some parts High of 90 in others
Number of wars in progress today: About 14
World population today: 6868323909 and counting

Result of main sporting event today: US Open Round 2 Andy Roddick to play Janko Tipsarevek
First topic on Jerry Springer today: "I kissed your man and I liked it"
Middle East oil reserves today:  Can't find it

Number of astronauts in space today: 6 all on the ISS
Lottery results in Colorado today: 01 06 11 21 23 28
Percentage of faked orgasims today: n/a
Time spent waiting for phones to be picked up: n/a

Moon-Earth distance at midday: 238,857 miles
Horoscope of Leo's with Scorpio ascendants: Make yourself feel better by taking care of small things on your to-do list. Checking items off allows you to perceive progress. Pay attention to both household and family concerns. A surprise party may be in order.
Number of birthdays worldwide: 137,080



Congratulations: you are now the world's leading expert on today's news.  Tomorrow morning be sure to get a business card printed and send it to everyone you know.

My answers are in bold to what I could find.  If there is an n/a its because its impossible to know and this book being ridiculous again.  I was surprised naively at all the current wars, and I couldn't find the number of birthdays today but I did find births.

Day 78: How Politically Correct is your circle of Friends

Day 78: How Politically Correct is your circle of Friends

Today work out if your friends represent the full tapestry of human cultural and ethnic variety.  Take remedial action if not.

-Caucasian
-Hispanic/Latino
-Japanese
-Chinese
-African/African-American
-Native American
-Pacific Islander
-Indian/Pakistani
-Other Asian

At some point in my life I have had friends that fit into all of these categories.  I am still friends with them, but don't necessarily hang out with all of them on a regular basis.  It's a great thing to be friends with people from other cultures, you learn so much more about people and the world.

Day 77: Today design your own logo

Day 77: Today design your own logo

These days its important to market yourself.  Everyone needs a carefully thought-out logo to represent their individuality and the exact benefit they bring to society  Design your, then have it printed on all your cups, shirts, and other personal effects.

>> In many respects John Sebastian Bach (1685-1750) did very well for himself, composting and performing many top classical music moments, as well as fathering an impressive twenty children.  But how much better could he have done with a logo?  No one will ever know for certain.<< 


Well I actually have been working on this recently.  I've been re-branding myself.  Since college I've been using my acorn icon as my logo but now I'm trying to make my site, cards etc more playful and fitting for the market I create for.  Here is what I've come up with:

Day 76: Wear shoes that are one size too small

Day 76: Wear shoes that are one size too small

That way you will experience huge relief when you come home and take them off tonight.  


I decided to do this by wearing a pair of heels to work.  I love them but they are slightly small.  I also should mention that I prefer flats; especially living in the city and commuting.  It was definitely a terrible time, not only were the shoes tight but they gave me a million blisters.  I definitely appreciate my chucks even more after a day in heels!

Day 75: Gino's Italian Restaurant

Day 75: Today every Book owner is to reserve a table at Gino's Italian Restaurant for eight o'clock on the 4th of July next year.  Phone number: (225) 927-7156 Gino's.  4542 Bennington, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  Open 11am-2pm and 5-10pm Mon-Fri, 5-10:30pm Sat. Closed Sun. MC, VISA, AE, DC, DISC.  No checks.

Gino's Italian Restaurant, family owned and operated.  Authentic Italian cuisine, and Italian style seafood.  Gino's restaurant has been a staple of the Baton Rouge restaurant community for over 35 years.  Gino's was established in 1966 by the Marino family.  Vincent, >>Mama&lt;&lt;, Gine, Laurence and Frances.  The Marino family originated in Agrigento, Sicily and first came to the USA in 1951.  With the exception of Vincent, patriarch of the Marino family, who passed in 1970.  Gino's remains 100% family owned and operated today.  Gino's originally was located on Perkins on Bennington in 1975.  Gino's specializes in traditional southern Italian food, Mediterranean style, with fresh seafood and of course steaks.  At Gino's our signature dist is Arancini, and our house specialties include Mama's Special Salad.  Gino's Italian Salad and Laurence Bread.  Gino's beautiful and Italian atmosphere lend to the romantic, and Gino's has always been a couple's favorite.  Visit us and see our etched glass reminiscences of Italy, fireplace, copper table tops and romantic candlelight.  Complimenting all this beautiful is imported Italian music from our discreet sound system.  On Gino's highly acclaimed Thursday jazz Night, you can experience the best jazz in the area from local, national and international jazz artists.  Out wine cellar, stocked with over 300 wines, has been included in many >>Best of&lt;&lt; Lists and has won numerous awards over the years.  Gino's Restaurant has won numerous awards over the years, being an almost perennial favorite in the Best Italian, Best Date and Most Romantic categories.  Our kitchen is supervised by our best Mama... From day 1 she has been THE cook... >>she comes with the furniture&lt;&lt; says Gino.  It is with great pride and great care that Mama cooks with and supervises the heavy use of true imported cheeses, anchovies, olive oils, tomato products, pasta and herbs.  Visit us at Gino's soon... Where Mama does the cooking... We're looking forward to seeing you.  Ciao!


I don't understand the significance of the 4th of July, and having lived in the south super hot July and heavy Italian aren't really what I want.  But, I really do want to try this place and I've been wanting to get down to New Orleans/Baton Rouge on vacation anyway.  So, instead of the 4th of July I made our reservation for December 29th at 8pm.  I figure if we aren't able to get out of the country for New Years maybe New Orleans would be a good place to spend it; and if that doesn't work out maybe I'll move it to my birthday and we can go for a long weekend.  Bellissimo!

Day 74: Express Your Views Today

Day 74: Express Your Views Today


What do you want to say?  Let us know today on www.thiswebsitewillchangeyourlife.com.  The book user with the most original views will see them up in print by the end of the year.


Some people who know me probably think I express my views too much.  Hopefully not in an annoying way though.  Again, I can't actually do this on the website since its not running the same, however, I am always expressing my views via this site, tumblr, facebook, etc so if you're wondering what I'm thinking go check one of them.

As for someone who always expresses their views: Jenny Holzer (love her).

Day 73: Get a Hobby!

Day 73: Get a Hobby!


Today is the first day of your new hobby.  Choose one of several of the following and look them up on the web for a comprehensive introduction to your new life-long passion.


-Count other people's teeth
-Build a houseboat
-Teach dogs to stand on one leg
-Cultivate pimples around your mouth
-Set out to see all films with Morgan Freeman
-Search for subliminal messages on heavy metal albums.  Report your findings.
-Topple a dictator using only the internet.
-Set fire to all brown shoes
-Attempt to make gold out of cotton and raisins.
-Try to grow another toe
-Read the Bible in all languages
-Make the perfect tax return
-Record birds singing and edit into hit songs
-Drink one glass of every wine bottled
-Organize fires
-Try to forget everything you ever learnt in school
-Watch the moon complete its circle from new to full
-Invent a pair of sunglasses that see very small animals
-Play Russian roulette


I already have way too much going on, I really don't need a hobby.  However, if I'm going to do any of the above things for a hobby I think it will be to try and drink all the possible wine in the world, while watching Morgan Freeman songs and finding subliminal messaging in metal music.  Sounds like an epic time!  Now lets get started!

Day 72: Today is Closure Day

Day 72: Today is Closure Day


We all form a strong attachment to our first toy.  Today, call up your kindergarten and ask them in they've found your rattle.  Explain that you lost it a good few years ago now, but only recovered the memory of this last week.  Emphasize how important it is to your psychological health that they find it (if necessary, send a letter from your psychiatrist).


I'm having a hard time finding the info on my actual preschool.  It was called Tiny Tots but the one I called I don't think was correct.  Either way I contacted them and told them I needed a dinosaur toy that I  just remembered I lost over 23 years ago (at that time I was obsessed with dinosaurs and wanted to be a paleontologist).  Dinosaurs were also the reason I had wanted to go to this school.  I'm not sure the person I spoke to was even that old... she thought I was prank calling... which I guess I kind of was... and hung up.

Day 71: See More of the World Today

Day 71: See More of the World Today

See more of the world today.  Take your bus or train one stop too far, then walk and discover everything you normally miss.

NB: Employers may not consider this a good excuse for being late.

Taking the subway stop one farther isn't actually too bad for me, and I get to work so early not many people are there yet.  My stop is 34th st. Herald Square and so I took it to 42nd st. Bryant Park.  I got out by the huge Bank of America headquarters and walked down 6th ave. past Bryant Park, which is always lovely.  I walked past all the bead shops, coffee places, etc.  I actually was only about 5/10 min later than usual and it was nice to walk that way in the morning before it gets too crazy.

Day 70: Take our test and find out if you're a PSYCHOPATH

Day 70: Take our test and find out if you're a PSYCHOPATH


Do you possess these traits?
Not at all: Score 0
Sometimes: Score 1
All the Time: Score 4


1. Glibness Superficial Charm (0)
2. Grandiose sense of self worth (0)
3. Tendency to boredom/Need for stimulation (1)
4. Pathologically lying (0)
5. Cunning/Manipulative behavior (1)
6. Lack of remorse (0)
7. Shallow affect (monotone voice/blank expression) (0)
8. Lack of empathy (0)
9. Parasitic lifestyle (0)
10. Poor behavioral control (0)
11. Promiscuous sexual behavior (0)
12. Behavioral problems early in life (0)
13. Lack of realistic long-term plans (0)
14. Impulsiveness (1)
15. Irresponsible behavior (0)
16. Failure to accept the consequences of actions (0)
17 Many marital relationships (0)
18. Juvenile delinquency (0)
19. Callousness (0)
20. Criminal versatility (0)


For more reliable results, ask a friend to answer this for you.  Surender to police immediately if you score over 40.


As you can see above I scored 3.  I don't get bored easily but I do like to have a lot of stimulation whether it be music, books, tv, computer etc.  I am occasionally impulsive about wanting to move and things like that.  When it comes to work and getting things I think the company needs I know how to talk my way into showing the importance of it and getting that thing.  I guess although its for a good cause it can be a bit manipulative.

Day 69: Downsizing Day

Day 69: Downsizing Day


This advice comes to you courtesy of Shailesh Gor, accountant to the stars.  Besides accountancy, Shailesh loves cricket and pizza, and is available for your downsizing needs for a reasonable fee.  Contact him via www.thiswebsitewillchangeyourlife.com

In the current economic climate, we must all cut costs.  Today fire someone from your entourage.


Hairdresser? -$10 Cut your own hair or get a handy friend to do it.
Cleaner? -$30 Cleaners cost money and steal things.  Plus it's good exercise for you.
Butcher? -$9 Become a vegetarian it's cheaper!
Broker? -$75 If they're any good, why haven't they retired rich by now?
Banker? -$50 Keep your money under your mattress, the new generation of thieves aren't trained to look there
Trainer? -$25 With all that cleaning (see above), you won't need this one anymore.
Partner? -$900 All that romantic tete-a-tete stuff costs a bomb Ditch and bitch (or bastard)
Cable Guy? -$10 You watch too much TV
Dentist? -$110 Original teeth are overrated.  There are very life-like prosthetics on the market these days.
Librarian? -$2 Can you afford those whopping fines?  Reread your old books.
Gardner? -$15 You'll learn to love gardening when you reitre.  Why not start now?
Bodyguard? -$870 No one's going to kidnap you if you're worth nothing
Old Friends? -$100 Old friends expect birthday gifts and other such luxuries you can ill afford.  Lose'em
Pet? -$25 Save money twice by now only downsizing your pet, but eating it (if its edible).
Accountant? -$15000 This one's a no-no.  They know too much about you.  Keep' em.
Therapist? -$150 They also know too much about you, but nothing truly interesting.  End it.


I looked online for this man since as stated before this site no longer really exists to add input to.  I couldn't find anything on him.  I have been trying to cut costs where possible... subway vs. cab etc.  According to the list above, here are the things I can cut or do not use:

Cleaner (I clean so thoroughly I do not need a cleaner)
Butcher (Don't eat that much meat)
Broker
Banker
Trainer (I had one before and it put me in debt)
Cable Guy (They never show up anyway no point in investing)
Librarian (I buy all my books)
Gardener (I live in the concrete jungle >Not< LA)
Bodyguard (Please... I have Bruno, he loves me and protects me)
Accountant (Maybe someday)
Therapist (That's why I have friends and family)

Things I can't cut:
Hairdresser (although if I did I'd save A LOT more than $10 not sure where they're getting their hair done!)
Partner (No explanation should be needed)
Dentist (I prefer real teeth)
Old Friends (The close ones are important to keep and worth the $ plus I love sending my designs to my friends)
Pets (Who would ever eliminate their pet to save money?!)

Day 68: Choose one hair on your body you will let grow

Day 68: Choose one hair on your body you will let grow

Choose one hair on your body you will let grow 1 yard long.  Most hair grows at approximately half an inch a month, so within 8 years your chosen hair should be reaching optimum length.  Remember to keep it clean, using shampoo and conditioner daily, and avoiding any tangling.  Special note for pubic hair: tape it to your inside leg during sexual congress so as not to ruffle it.  You'll never get bored of your special hair.  Here for instance, we've used ours to recreate the Mona Lisa, only better.

This is really kind of gross to me for some reason so I'm going to choose one of the wispy hairs on the nape of my neck.  I hate them, they never fit into ponytails, so I'm just going to hope they grow for this activity.  I can easily wash them, and they won't look creepy as they grow.

Day 67: One Day Detox

Day 67: One Day Detox


AIM: today, your goal is to try and expel some of the toxins that are building up and gradually poisoning your body.  Only consume cleansing food and drink.  By tonight, your internal organs will have begun to purge all the druges preservatives, additives, and excess bile that you've been lugging around for years.  This is the first step towards the new you!


WHAT TO EAT: >>Nothing<< is the short answer!  Because we are following an intensive one-day-only program, an essentially liquid diet is necessary.  But that doesn't mean you won't enjoy it!  Start off with a yummy breakfast of lemon juice in warm water: go on, squeeze a whole lemon in there and treat yourself.  (Citrus juice is a powerful bowel purging agent.)  Drink mineral water throughout the day, and again, don't sint on quantity, the mote the better.  For lunch, a treat: an apple to keep the doctor away, washed down with two cups on camomile tea.  If you are feeling desperately hungry, you  may eat a teaspoon of sesame seeds toward 5pm, though strictly speaking you shouldn't!  For dinner a nice clear soup of hot water, flavored with some fennel.  And before going to bed a cup fo peppermint tea, to aid digestion. 


POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS:
As is often said, >>no pain, no gain<>unwanted side effects<<.  Indeed, if it doesn't, your'e probably doing something wrong.  You may in fact wish to take the day off work before attempting it.  Now, what should you expect?  You certainly experience headaches, starting before lunch  This is partly due to the brain's cravings for its usually stimulant, caffeine.  As the day progresses your tissues will also be eliminating noxious substance though the bloodstream, and will feel weak, wek and hungry.  This is no excuse to eat  Mid-afternoon your detoxing  skin may erupt in local rashes.  As the day draws to a close, frequent urination, diarrhea, and gas are often observed, along with negative, anti-social feelings.  Bravo!  Cherish these side effects, for they mean you have successfully completed the >>one-day<< detox!


Well done!  If you've followed this diet today you will live longer by: (age x 4.5) - (weight/maternal great grandmother's age at death) minutes.


This isn't a real detox but it is similar to some out there.  Usually you're to be consuming juices and such to keep you from passing out and starving.  I have to say I didn't make it all the way through the day on this cleanse, I made it to about 4:30 when Bruno wanted to order dinner.  Considering most people don't wake up at 6am I think I did ok.  I was miserable, tired, and had a pounding headache.  Really, if your'e going to do one of these, which I don't think is a bad idea, you should do the kits or do it the right way.

Day 66: Today Save Water

Day 66: Today Save Water


The battleground of the 21st century will be water supply.  Due to global warmin and demographic trends, huge swathes of Africa and Asia will find their water demand drastically overrun their supply.  Inevitably this will result in migratory pressure toward the more temperate regions.  Do your bit to prevent this by safeguarding water.  Hold off going to the WC as far as physically possible (one flush per five people is enough).  Don't shower or bathe quite so often: once a week is quite sufficient.  And why water the lawn?  Concrete is a much more contemporary look.  Remember: water is life.


Ok, so I do believe in not wasting water; and so for today I did a cat bath and used dry shampoo on my hair.  I flushed the toilet a total of three times today but did wash my hands.  Everything at work is sensored so I couldn't not flush but instead I just held it as long as I could stand before going to the restroom.  I remembered to turn off the faucet when I brushed my teeth and oddly enough I barely drank any water today.  Oh, and as far as the concrete look, we definitely have that going for us here.

Day 65: Today Learn a Poem By Heart

Day 65: Today Learn a Poem By Heart


Hope is a thing with feathers.  
By Emily Dickinson


Hope is a thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings a tune without words
And never stops at all


And sweetest, in the gale, a heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That keeps so many warm


I've heard it in the chilliest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never in extremity,
It ask a crumb of me.


I lost interest in poetry mid way through high school.  Now the only poetry I make is with the magnetic words on my fridge.  However, at that same time in high school, music took over my world so to speak.  I love lyrics and think they are as much poetry as if you read one like stated above.  I memorize all my favorite lyrics so for the sake of today's task I will put the song I believe to be a poem to a guitar which is "Ripple" by Grateful Dead.

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine 
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung, 
Would you hear my voice come thru the music, 
Would you hold it near as it were your own? 

It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken, 
Perhaps they're better left unsung. 
I don't know, don't really care 
Let there be songs to fill the air. 

Ripple in still water, 
When there is no pebble tossed, 
Nor wind to blow. 

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty, 
If your cup is full may it be again, 
Let it be known there is a fountain, 
That was not made by the hands of men. 

There is a road, no simple highway, 
Between the dawn and the dark of night, 
And if you go no one may follow, 
That path is for your steps alone. 

Ripple in still water, 
When there is no pebble tossed, 
Nor wind to blow. 

You who choose to lead must follow 
But if you fall you fall alone, 
If you should stand then who's to guide you? 
If I knew the way I would take you home. 

Day 64: Today send a letter...

Day 64: Today send a letter...


...to someone at random with a photo of yourself, a $5 bill, no explanation and no sender address.  See what comes of it.


I chose a random picture of myself from when Bruno and I were at Pepe's in Connecticut.  You couldn't see anything but me to identify where we were.  I put a $5 bill in the envelope.  Then it was time to find an address.  I typed random things in the computer but everything funny ended up being too close to home... literally on the east coast or near/around NYC.  So I wanted to do a larger experiment and searched D'Eugenio Rd. this way, its a clue but not.  There was one in Italy that was a residence.  It seemed like a perfect place for it to go.  I doubt anything would come of it, but you never know.*Note the person who lived there wasn't a D'Eugenio so it wasn't sent to family it was the street.*

Day 63: Break a world record

Day 63: Break a world record


Difficult: 
-Fastest Man on earth (C. Lewis 26.95mph)
-Longest manned space flight (V. Poliyakov 437 days, 17 hrs, 58 min, 16 sec)
-Hottest Planet in the solar system (864 degrees F, Venus)


Average:
-Largest pumpkin (106 lbs. Nathan and Paula Zehr, USA)
-Longest letter to an editor (25, 513 words, J. Sulzbaugh in >>The Upper Dauphin Sentinel of Pennsylvania<< 1979)
-Longest paper plane flight (20.9 seconds, Chris Edge and Andy Currey, UK 1996)
-Most mosquitos killed in 5 min (21 Henry Pellonpaa Finland, 1995)


Easy (no record officially established):
-Most zits on face (teenager/adult)
-Longest time holding up an umbrella
-Quickest recitation fo the alphabet
-Longest occupation of attic


How to register your world records: contact
THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS
++44 891 517 607 or write to:
Guinness Publishing Ltd.
338 Euston Rd.
London, NW1 38 D, UK


I haven't been able to complete this yet because I haven't had time to beat a world record.  I am throwing some ideas around of what I could possibly do.  However, when you actually go to the website its a lot of rules and less categories then what this book makes it out to be.  I'm hoping to do something with art, we'll see.

Day 62: Prepare convenient circles everywhere you habitually go

Day 62: Prepare convenient circles everywhere you habitually go


Nothing really bad can happen to you if you're in a circle.


Why do circles work?  There are strange and dark powers out there that seek to influence your mind.  Some call them ghosts, others call them demons, but unless they are kept at bay, they will drag you deep into psychosis.  Thus the need for circles.  Drawing a circle around yourself invokes protective pagan powers and establishes a psychic shield within which you are safe and in control.  You may want to further secure the circle by using salt or rum.  Ideally you should aim to be able to hop from one protective circle to another for continusous protection.


I finally got a piece of chalk, which not having access to a school was not as easy a feat as you may think.  Above are the two pictures I could get of my circles without drawing them and then taking a picture of them without looking like too much of a lunatic on my way to work.  The first picture is outside our apartment and the second is in the 2nd ave subway on the stairs.  There is also one outside my work and by the 34th st subway.

Day 61: Today find out how symmetrical you are

Day 61: Today find out how symmetrical you are


According to recent research at the Ludwig Boltmann Institute for Urban Ethnology, Vienna, symmetrical people are more attractive*.  These finding have since been confirmed in 112 different countries and cultures.  Draw a line down the middle of your face and measure your symmetry at the following points.


D1: Distance between outer eye corners
D2: Distance between inner eye corners
D3: Distance between pupils 
D4: Nose width
D5: Mouth width
D6: Outer jaw width
D7: Chin width


Hint: How do you know if you're asymmetrical without measuring?  Well, you can be pretty sure ou are if people have used these words about your physique: quirky, funny, different, special, kooky, homely odd, interesting, unusual, alternatie, ugly.


Ok so you've taken those measurements, now here's an easy guide to working out your degree of symmetry.  Add them up in the following manner: D1+D2+D3+D4+D5+D7=Dx.  Dx/6=Dz is your baseline symmetry coefficient (BSC:Dz).  So far so simple.  But, here's where we start cooking.  You need to correlate BSC:Dz with the Overall Average Facial Asymmetry Rating (OAFR=0.453).  So lets say your BSC:Dz=49mm.  Individual Asymmetry Score (GRD)=49/0.453+1 (adjusted) =109.161 Voila... If your GRD<79.8, you are in the top 10% of the general population and should have no trouble  getting laid.  If 79.9 <123.56, you are average and veer from >>lucky<< periods to >>bad patch<< times.  If your GRD >123.57, seek circus employment.


I didn't draw lines on my face but I did use a soft tape measure.

D1: Distance between outer eye corners - 4.5 in

D2: Distance between inner eye corners- 1.5 in

D3: Distance between pupils - 2.5 in

D4: Nose width - 1.5 in

D5: Mouth width - 2.5 in

D6: Outer jaw width - 5 in  

D7: Chin width - 2.5 in 

Now I am terrible with math so I'm not sure I did this math problem right.  My total of added up amounts should be 15in which I believe is 38mm which I then divide by 0.453 + 1 which would be a total of 84.88.  Whew, guess I'm in the clear.  Although I think you can tell my face is pretty symmetrical without measuring it.

Day 60: Order and Impossible Pizza

Day 60: Order and Impossible Pizza


Some favorite toppings:
Banana
Peas
Cheerios 
Orange
Candy
Ice Cream
Roast Duck
Sauerkraut
Honey
Apple Pie


I can't wait to see the outcome of this.  Thank goodness for online delivery in NYC!

The Impossible (and horrible) pizza:
Sausage/Pepperoni/Bacon/Mushrooms/Olives/Garlic/Basil/Ham/Pineapple/Feta/Mozzarella/Strawberries/Bananas/Peaches/Mangos/Prosciutto/Shrimp/Spinach/Anchovies/Sliced Chicken/Diced Tomatoes/Peppers/ with special instructions to add Cheerios.

Day 59: Are You Psychic?

Day 59: Are You Psychic?

Today try lifting at object with your mind.

Beginners
Twig/Stamp/Pen

Intermediate
Chair/Bicycle/Child

Freaks
Weights/Fat Lady/Building

Uri Geller: Uri started bending spoons at the age of four.  He used to thrill his classmates at school by making the clock hands move forward so lessons would end early.  he is now a multi-millionaire several times over.  So you see its well worth cultivating those hidden powers.

Today I decided since I was definitely a beginner I'd try a pen.  I put it on the table in front of me and stared at it willing it wo move.  I eventually became cross-eyed and by no surprise to myself didn't succeed.  I believe the mind holds so much more information then most of us are able to tap into, howevever I'm not sure that I believe this is possible.

Day 58: Decide what skills to pass on in your family

Day 58: Decide what skills to pass on in your family

Families are the nuclei of society, cells of history and knowledge through which wisdom and morals are transmitted from generation to generation and beyond.  What age-old traditions and skills define your family?  Make a conscious effort to inculcate them in your children and grandchildren today.  Here is a case study to inspire you.

W H I T T L I N G
The Medvak family of Cloverdale Oregon  (Robert, Annie, Gabriele, Sammy and animal companion Pooch) have long enjoyed whittling as a hobby.  But it's something more too.  Let's hear it from Rob Medvak: >>Whittling's not just an inexpensive and fun pastime, its a way of life.  I learnt to whittle from my grandfather Bobbie Medvak, a bear of a man, who could turn a 10-by-10 chunk of good solid basswood into, say, a cowboy boot or a love spoon in ten minutes flat... Now that's whittling!<<  The Medvaks went through a rough patch in their marriage a few years ago when Annie entered a lesbian >>phase<< and Rob reckons whittling not only helped him and the kids through it, but made them stronger as a family.  >>Me and the kids we used to carve little pictures of Ann when she was gone, which was a really quite difficult thing, very elaborate because you've got to get the expression right, and of course after she shaved her hair they didn't look much like her anymore so we moved on to carving bottle stoppers instead.  Sam even carved these beautiful wooden horses all on his own.<< Rob Medvak is proud to have passed the tradition on to his children.  >>I reckon Gaby and Sam will be whittling for life.  It's a good character-building discipline.  Anyway, they can't wait to show Mommy all their work as soon as she comes back.<<

I want to pass down to my future kids the love to read and appreciate art even if they aren't artistic.  I want them to see and accept the differences in people and to never be afraid to ask questions or take things just at face value.  I want them to respect others and those older than them.  I will teach them to love good music and appreciate their roots.  Any other talents or interests that they have I prefer they find for themselves. 

Day 57: Today, try food that scares you

Escargot at Cafe Carbon

Picked Tomatoes and Pickles at Katz Delicatessen

Me tasting the pickled tomatoes.

Day 57: Today, try food that scares you

Tripe
Snails
Brussels Sprouts
Dog
Frog's Legs
Horse
Oysters
Tiger Testicle
Jellied Eel
Haggis

I have to say that I love Brussels sprouts and oysters, I have tried things not on this list that are strange as well, such as:
Alligator
Ostrich Egg
Buddah Hand
Buffalo
Various sushi that some would find questionable
and various other things...
I love trying new and different foods, so when the opportunity presented itself to eat escargot at the French restaurant downstairs from my house Bruno and I jumped on it.  We were kind of nervous about it but once we tried it, it was actually very good.  hey have a lot of spices on them and a great flavor.  We've gone back again since.  Also, the other day my sister, Bruno and I went to Katz Delicatessen in our neighborhood.  We got table service and they gave us pickled tomatoes which looked disgusting.  However, in the name of this challenge I figured why stop with escargot, lets try these picked tomatoes.  They weren't that good to me but they weren't terrible.  Next time though, I'll pass on those!

Day 56: Rock 'n' Roll - Today live the heavy metal lifestyle

Day 56: Rock 'n' Roll - Today live the heavy metal lifestyle at its most decadent...

4pm: Wake up to the gentle bobbing motion of fellatio from some nameless groupie
5pm: Snort two industrial sized lines of coke and take a swig of J. Daniels to help you out of bed
6pm: Trash hotel room, or if too wrecked at least heave the television set out the window
7pm: Threaten manager with loaded gun, doing a convincing imitation of someone who doesn't know or care if the safety is on
8pm: Time for refreshments: pills washed down with vodka and a spliff
9pm: Copulate with two Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders in full view of Dallas Cowboy
10pm: Convince them to tattoo your name on their ass, misspelling it for them
11pm: The night is young and so are the girls around here so time to hit the town
12am: Meet your dealer in bar with bag full of loose banknotes
1am: Shoot up in bar toilet, standing up to avoid the unhygienic seat
2am: OD in limo, but not before wrestling steering wheel from driver
3am: Get arrested trying to throttle nurse for stabbing you and stealing your precious blood
5am: OD again this time in prison hospital
7am: Set fire to prison sheets, trying to light concealed emergency joint
9am: Sink into coma like sleep in pool of own vomit, ensuring plenty of personal space in otherwise crowded cell
10am: Throw up again on lawyer, who should know better than to wear best suit to these occasions
11am: Restorative sleep in tour van
4pm: Repeat until early death and instant immortality

These are so ridiculous!  I'm sure rock didn't get this stereotype totally by chance, however, I like to hope most of the musicians and family men who's talent I respect so much aren't this way.  From what I know of them it isn't.  This isn't really a possible task to complete anyway, nor would I complete it if I could.  Its a waste of a day... In my own response to this day I'll just listen to all the best rock music I love and maybe live in my ignorant bliss.

Day 55: Pancake Day

 Day 55: Pancake Day

Today a test of patience: flip the perfect pancake.

1) The pancake mixture must be very smooth.  Start with 2 cups of flour and a pinch of salt in large bowl, wisk in two eggs.  Mix 2 cups of milk and 1 cup of water, and add them in gradually, whisking until the batter is creamily smooth.
2) Lubricate your frying pan with butter and put it on medium-high heat.  Spoon in roughly one ladleful of mixture per pancake, tipping it around the pan so its spreads evenly.  As soon as the underside is golden, its time for the tricky bit. 
3)Flipping (or>>tossing<<) is all in the forearm.  Lift the pan away from teh heat, then slide the pancake around slightly to avoid stickiness, and whip the pan up in a forecful yet precise movement.  The pancake should rotate 180 degrees vertially and land back in the same spot it became ariborn.  (Beginners, children under 12 and the elderly: you are free to adjust the pan slightly to catch it though).

What makes the perfect pancake?  10% technique, 10% instinct, 80% patience.

Take care >>tossing<< your pancakes.  Firefighter Stuart Mitchell says: >>Cooking and flipping pancakes is great fun but people shopld take care with hot oil.  You hardly need any oil and people should be very wary that they flip their panckaes away from teh stove so that if the tossed pancake isn't caught it can be cleared up.<<

**This highly unsual rock formation known as >>Pancake Rocks<< is situated as Punakaiki on the West Coast of the South Island, New Zealand.  It received its name in May 1832 from the white settlers, as the indigenous Maoris were not familiar with the concept of pancake. (See Below)**
 

I didn't follow this exact pancake recipe because there is this great "Pamela's" Pancake Mix I love from the Natural foods stores.  I like them light so I do use quite a bit of non or low fat margarine in the pan for every pancake, this also helps with the flipping.  The results tasted great and to me they were the perfect tasty pancakes.

Day 54: Today Count your Farts

Day 54: Today Count your Farts

Everyone emits gas, except the Queen of Englad perhaps.  But just how cow-like are you in your production?  Today keep a very rough numerical tally to ascertain if your methane generation falls within statistical norms, or if you pose a particular danger to the ozone layer.

MEN: 50cm (9 emissions)
WOMEN: 20cm (4 emissions)

Fortunately today I can truly and honestly say I emitted no gas.  I guess the Queen and myself have something in common.  Besides, girls and gas aren't an attractive mix.  Boys on the other hand I'm sure would have much different numbers.

Day 53: Today, return all your junk mail

 Day 53: Today, return all your junk mail

Junk mail clogs up your mailbox and forces you to spend hours every month disposing of it.  But hey, ifyou send it back, it has the same effect on the compaines who dish it out.  Just write RETURN TO SENDER and change the name to B.Smith, Resources and Personnel Dept, and they will spend valuable time trying to work out who or what should be on the receiving end of your correspondence.

I had fun with this task because I love mail, but like everyone else hate the postal spam.  When I got my mail today unfortunately I didn't have a ton of junk mail but did the task anyway.  The only thing I changed was the B.Smith part.  As I mentioned previously I love the postal system and have a weird obsession with mail and the post offices... I don't know why.  However, the people that sent these things to me will have their services returned to them and they are the mailboxes I wish to clog in return.  Fun and easy task completed.  

Day 52: What is the meaning of life?

Day 52: What is the meaning of life?

Today solve that eternal problem by looking it up in the dictionary.

Webster Dictionary:
Noun: A) Quality that distinguishes a vital and functioning being from a dead body. B) The sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual.

Urban Dictionary:
A terminal disease contracted at birth and has a 100% mortality rate.  Don't take it too seriously... you'll never get out alive.

Personally I love the urban dictionary one.

Day 51: Sense-less Day

Day 51: Sense-less Day 

How to: Very dark glasses and a white cane
True Story: There is an extraordinary study by Marius Von Senden, called >>Space and Sight.<<  In it he examines the experiences of those born blind whose sight has recently been restored by cataract surgery.  For them, vision is a radical new experience.  They see the world as a field of colors.  One girl was so moved by its dazzling brilliance that she kept her eyes shut for two weeks, only opening them briefly now and again, to repeat >>Oh God!  How beautiful.<< Alas, she found it impossible to understand space, and kept bumping into these colors.  She was only ever happy with her eyes closed, pretending to be blind again.

Write down the pros and cons of this sense as you discover them. End of the day assessment : How crucial is my sense of sight to me __________/10.

This task fell on a work day so I couldn't go through the entire day pretending to be blind but I did do this for my morning.  I woke up and tried to do as much as I could with my eyes closed, shower (check), brush teeth (check), makeup and clothes ( partial check).  I already realized how hard it would be.  Since I have to look presentable I did open my eyes to see the damage.  Having been doing my makeup since I was young for dance it didn't look that bad, my eyeliner was a little thick though and had to do my mascara with open eyes.  Next I went down our stairs, five flights, with my eyes closed which was a slow and testing process, I'm glad no one came out of their apartment to deem me the crazy neighbor.  This experiment really just couldn't last long without some help from someone you can rely on.  Sounds of course are helpful but when you're not blind if you cross the street with your eyes closed and get hit by a car you didn't hear coming, its hard to explain why you were doing that.  Having just done the little bit I did though, and having the career I have I can tell you I'm a 10 in my dependence on sight.  I am so thankful I have it!

Day 50: Make People Notice You Today

Day 50: Make people notice you today

Keep one eye shut all day
Don't shave
Have money sticking out of your pocket
Talk crap non-stop
Spread money around
Wear a crown
Wear a high hat
Dress in colorful clothes
Carry a midget under your left arm
Whistle out of tune
Glue a spatula to your arm
Read the newspaper upside down 
Walk sideways crablike 

Today I wore my huge pink feather earrings that I love and are so beautiful.  Every time I wear them everyone stops me and wants to look at them and compliments them.  Something that wasn't planned was that the night before I'd eat something that was terribly wrong and felt so ill all day.  After being at work for a couple hours I brought more attention to myself by leaving early and not being there to answer questions.  In the end between leaving and wearing attention drawing earrings, it was a successful completion of the day.

Day 49: Make a Citizens Arrest!

Day 49: Make a Citizens Arrest!

When a crime is committed and no police officer is in the vicinity, you have the right and responsibility to make a Citizen’ Arrest.  Such crimes include: murder, manslaughter, armed arrest, conspiracy to defraud, littering.  That's right buddy just cut it out and hang it around someone's neck.


Since as I mentioned before I don't like involving other people in my quest to complete this book.  I decided in the name of completing this task, I would do the citizen arrest but instead of handing it to someone and putting all my information out there I'd write it all out and post it in my building for the people who deserve it.  Our 6th floor tenants are extremely noisy and childish, and they set off fire alarms by sneaking out on the roof, scream obscenities in the stairwells, slam doors, stomp around and are constantly creating chaos around here.  So to them I post my citizen arrest.  Maybe not handing it to them is being cowardly but at least it was brought to their attention.

Day 48: First Impressions

Day 48: First Impressions

First impressions are crucial in life.  Today hand this to a stranger and find out what impression you made.

Hello!  If you have one mintue, would you please write down your first impression of me, for an experiment.  Please be as honest as you can.  If you want you can shut this book when you're finished and I'll only look when you're gone.  Thank you.


Write here please:....

I haven't had the opportunity to give this to someone.  I'm not sure who is the reason and I feel weird involving strangers in my quest to complete a book... I'll update when I do.

Day 47: Tonight Count Sheep

Day 47: Tonight Count Sheep
How far do you get before falling asleep?  Tick each of these as you go along and find out.  ... and watch out for the evil cow.

I did this at 11ish when I was acutally going to bed and pretty tired from a full days work.  Apparently when I try and count sheep I fall asleep fast so that was kind of interesting... I couldn't really get past 35 at least thats the last non-jumpled number I remember.  Of course I wanted to get to the cow but couldn't. 

Day 46: Birthday Day

 Day 46: Birthday Day!

Don't forget your special buddies' special day!  Write their birthdays down here so you'll remember them.  For those of you who can't be bothered, here is a list of convincing excuses: 

I couldn't remember where you lived. I knocked my head on the pavement and suffered 24-hour amnesia, To be honest, I never liked you much anyway.  Surely our friendship transcends material possessions like gifts.  We have this telepathic bond, and that's how I sent the card.  I can barely recall your name, let alone your birthday.  You didn't remind me.  I gave you a present last year.  Wht're u tlkng bout?  I snt u a txt msge, d'nt u gt it?  Well, you forgot our friendship anniversary.  I was gonna call but my bunny rabbit passed away.  I spent time with my mother.  I only follow the Chinese calendar.  I didn't forget!  You much have an evil double.

I didn't include family (i.e. - Parents, Sara, Bru or his family, cousins etc) because I would never forget those, they always transfer form year to year on my calendar.  When I move out of my family circle there aren't a ton of "special buddies".  There are certain friends that even if I don't talk to them or get to see them all the time I make sure to transfer their birthdays on my calendar from year to year for some reason.  The others are the ones I decided to include for today that are important people to me for one reason or another.

Rene 6/27
Julie 12/10
Rastad 6/7
Sandy 1/31
Lindley 9/2
Kate 4/27
Erin 10/4
Jay 8/7
Jose 9/17
Nontra 2/12
Lisa 10/28
Drew 7/29
Chad 6/18
Tim 11/11
Michelle 12/13
Adrienne 12/15
Crosby 4/15
Molly 5/17

Day 45: Romance Day

Day 45: Romance Day

Come up with a compliment that has never been made before.


Top female compliment cliches:
You are the woman of my dreams
Your eyes are like two stars
It must have hurt, when you fell from heaven
You're not like any girl I've ever met


Top male compliment cliches:
Do you work out?
Nice driving!
Boy, you sure can handle your drink.
Look at those hands-are you a lumberjack?

These are terrible pick up lines, apparently women aren't as good at making them up either because the ones for men are really lame.  I have to say I'm at a lack for one that I've never heard before but I will share the funniest one I've ever heard in order to complete today.  When I was walking home one day a guy rolled down his window and yelled to me: "Girl now that I've seen you I know what I'm gonna ask Santa for, for Christmas!  Can't wait for the holidays, you make the top of my list, mmm mmm."  Classic.

Break in Daily Routine Activity

My stuff was featured last week on the Print&Pattern blog!  Yay!  Big thanks to her for putting it out there.  Check it out!

http://printpattern.blogspot.com/2010/07/designer-jennifer-deugenio.html

Day 44: Defy Superstition

Day 44: Defy Superstition

Open your umbrella inside
Walk under a ladder
Whistle inside the house
Put keys on the table
Break a mirror
Step on a crack in the sidewalk
Let milk boil over
Cross paths with a black cat

(pictures of me looking stupid whistling inside)

For some reason a few of these are easier than others for me.  I'm weird about breaking a mirror, nor do I have one I would break for this task.  The rest I have no problem with, I didn't even know keys on a table and whistling inside were bad.  I guess if I believe in superstitions for those I'd be in trouble.  There is a black kitty that lives in the tailor shop next door to my house I pass her all the time but she's hard to get a picture of, and who would be superstitious about a cute little cat!  I couldn't find a ladder to walk under, and as mentioned I won't be breaking a mirror but the rest are complete.  I took pictures of a few.