Day 69: Downsizing Day

Day 69: Downsizing Day


This advice comes to you courtesy of Shailesh Gor, accountant to the stars.  Besides accountancy, Shailesh loves cricket and pizza, and is available for your downsizing needs for a reasonable fee.  Contact him via www.thiswebsitewillchangeyourlife.com

In the current economic climate, we must all cut costs.  Today fire someone from your entourage.


Hairdresser? -$10 Cut your own hair or get a handy friend to do it.
Cleaner? -$30 Cleaners cost money and steal things.  Plus it's good exercise for you.
Butcher? -$9 Become a vegetarian it's cheaper!
Broker? -$75 If they're any good, why haven't they retired rich by now?
Banker? -$50 Keep your money under your mattress, the new generation of thieves aren't trained to look there
Trainer? -$25 With all that cleaning (see above), you won't need this one anymore.
Partner? -$900 All that romantic tete-a-tete stuff costs a bomb Ditch and bitch (or bastard)
Cable Guy? -$10 You watch too much TV
Dentist? -$110 Original teeth are overrated.  There are very life-like prosthetics on the market these days.
Librarian? -$2 Can you afford those whopping fines?  Reread your old books.
Gardner? -$15 You'll learn to love gardening when you reitre.  Why not start now?
Bodyguard? -$870 No one's going to kidnap you if you're worth nothing
Old Friends? -$100 Old friends expect birthday gifts and other such luxuries you can ill afford.  Lose'em
Pet? -$25 Save money twice by now only downsizing your pet, but eating it (if its edible).
Accountant? -$15000 This one's a no-no.  They know too much about you.  Keep' em.
Therapist? -$150 They also know too much about you, but nothing truly interesting.  End it.


I looked online for this man since as stated before this site no longer really exists to add input to.  I couldn't find anything on him.  I have been trying to cut costs where possible... subway vs. cab etc.  According to the list above, here are the things I can cut or do not use:

Cleaner (I clean so thoroughly I do not need a cleaner)
Butcher (Don't eat that much meat)
Broker
Banker
Trainer (I had one before and it put me in debt)
Cable Guy (They never show up anyway no point in investing)
Librarian (I buy all my books)
Gardener (I live in the concrete jungle >Not< LA)
Bodyguard (Please... I have Bruno, he loves me and protects me)
Accountant (Maybe someday)
Therapist (That's why I have friends and family)

Things I can't cut:
Hairdresser (although if I did I'd save A LOT more than $10 not sure where they're getting their hair done!)
Partner (No explanation should be needed)
Dentist (I prefer real teeth)
Old Friends (The close ones are important to keep and worth the $ plus I love sending my designs to my friends)
Pets (Who would ever eliminate their pet to save money?!)