Day 15: Be Gay for a Day

Day 15: Be Gay for a Day

As James Dean said, why go through life with one hand tied behind your back? Here are some hints on how to experience your other side in just one day.

8am During rush hour, try to brush up gently against someone in public transport. This is just to get yourself used to the idea of same-sex contact. Do not push this too far as technically it is known as frottage and could get you arrested.

11am The office coffee machine is the ideal casual flirting situation, wait for the object of your affection to help themselves to a coffee before bumping into them. Their beverage will spill over them, providing you with the perfect opportunity to caress their chest with a kitchen towel.

1pm Because of social conventions, it is much easier to find a gay mate if you are officially on the lookout. Use your lunch hour to compose a carefully worded all-staff email in which you come out of the closet. (You will always be able to claim it was a misunderstanding tomorrow.)

3pm By now you should have had plenty of response’s to your flirting overtures but you also need to start planning your evening. Ring a close same-gender friend and say you have something important to tell them. Arrange to meet in a romantic bar or restaurant. Candlelight is best.

5pm The end of the office day. As tomorrow you will be able to explain everything why not turn up the heat a little by squeezing someone’s bottom playfully on your way out. (If possible pick someone with a sense of humor.)

8pm By now your date should be going well. After a few drinks some inadvertent touching and a lot of eye contact, you will have told your close friend that you think that your relationship could be taken to the next level. They may act unconvinced at first, even play >hard to get<>

11pm Only one hour left to explore the outer shores of your new sexuality. After today’s gradual physical emotionally build up, the last inhibitions shouldn’t be too difficult to shed. The rest it up to you…

Gays: be straight for the day! Adapt the above guidelines, only making clear you’re heading into the closet.

So since I started a new job oh, a week ago… I am not going to compromise that by sending out an email suddenly saying I’m gay and then the next day saying I’m not, they’ll think I’m nuts. And if I spill coffee on someone and then try to fondle them or pinch their butt my friend who got me hired will think twice about me and I’ll probably get slapped with a sexual harassment charge. Whoever wrote this book obviously never rode a NYC subway during morning rush hour either. You’re so close to everyone you feel like you should introduce yourself first. Anyway, like I said before I’m really not into girls like that at all so today I rode that morning subway surrounded by people; then I spent the whole day with my friend and co-worker. We went and got sit down Korean food for a lunch date, on our way got checked out by a girl with tattoos. At work we planned a date to go see a movie and get dinner but then were so tired from the week we went and got Pinkberry instead, which I bought for her, as any good date would do. Then I went home to my man.

As for the image its from a campaign called NoH8 an old co-worker told me about it, and I think its a great cause for same sex marriage. Love does not discriminate and neither should marriage laws. If you disagree you have to think about if roles were reversed and you couldn’t legally be with the one you love. Check out the site: http://www.noh8campaign.com/